Il mio cuore continuerà
by charliaddict
Summary: I suck at summaries, but it's a Jate fic that ends happily, eventually...


Chapter one 

'Why do you want to go back so bad?'

'Because it's the least that I owe him'

She stormed off down the beach, her breathing laboured and her head spinning. They had to go get him back, why couldn't they see that they just couldn't go on without him. He was their doctor, the only one. What if something happened to them? What if something happened to him? She could never forgive herself if something happened to him. It would be all her fault and she could have done something about it.

She reached her tent. Lifting up the flap she could see everything in it. The thin aeroplane blanket she used to try and keep warm at night, the bottles of water that he would bring to her, which were now empty, like her. Her eyes continued to travel around her tent finally resting on his sweatshirt. The one that he brought to her on one of their first nights here claiming that she looked cold sat there alone by the fire. She was until he came.

She stood there, unable to take her eyes of it. The memories of that night playing through her head on a loop as if they were in a movie. The way he smiled and laughed with the fellow survivors, the way his eyes lit up in the glow of the amber fire, they way their eyes met across that same fire. The eyes told her that everything would be more then fine as long as they were there, but now they were gone and she might never see them again. It was her fault, she was the one who chose to not let go of her past and sleep with Sawyer. She was the one who left him there, on his own.

She moved towards the sweatshirt never taking her eyes of it. Her hand reached out to it. Her fingers stroking the soft fabric. She let her hand run over the letters across the chest. Memories playing in her head again of him telling her where he went to med school and the hospital that he worked at. She had hoped to have been able to tell him similar stories but the only place that she had ever worked was in the diner. The diner where she would go as an escape from him. She went there that often that they offered her a job which she more then gladly accepted. She thought that if she earned enough money she could get her and her mum away from there, away from him. She had saved up for two years, she had begged her mum countless times to leave but she had always defended him, she claimed that she loved him, but how can anyone love such a monster.

Tears started forming in her eyes and she couldn't stop them. They started rolling down her cheeks, landing on the grey fibres of the sweatshirt, of his sweatshirt. She just wanted to close her eyes, and wake up and find that it was all a dream. That she had fallen asleep one afternoon in his arms and that she would wake up and he would be there holding her, telling her everything would be alright and she would look into his eyes and know that it would be. Her tears started running faster and her shoulders started shaking. She couldn't hold it back any longer and she collapsed in a ball in her tent, clinging to his sweatshirt, clinging to the only bit of sanity that she had left.

She cried herself to sleep that night. Letting out everything, until there were no more tears left to cry. She slowly opened her eyes, getting used to light that now filled her tent. She sat up. Taking deep breathes she tried to figure out what to do, she wasn't hungry so there was no point in getting breakfast, she wasn't thirsty, not that it mattered now that he wasn't here to bring her the two bottles of water that he did every morning. She didn't feel anything.

She could hear them outside, trying to whisper. They thought she was still asleep and they didn't want to disturb her especially after yesterday. She had screamed at them all, telling them all that they had to go and rescue him, that after all he had done for all of them they should want to go and not go just because they felt like they should. They all knew that she loved him, even Sawyer knew. Sawyer had suspected it right from the very beginning, but he knew for certain when they were stood on the beach and she was repeating the story he had told her the very first day and then when he was telling her to go and she refused to listen until that was it and the line went dead. She had just got on with things, pretending like it hadn't affected her like it had. Everyone on the island knew that they were in love with each other. The only two people who didn't were Jack and Kate.

Chapter two 

She crept out of the flap of her tent. She saw them all standing there, planning what they should do. She stood up, but none of them had seen her so they kept discussing. It wasn't until Sun said her name that any of them realised. They all turned to look at her. Sayid started towards her, he placed a hand on her shoulder and looked straight into her eyes, telling her that everything would be ok and they were going to go get him back. She had thanked him, but she knew that not everything was going to fine, he would never be able to forgive her, and he shouldn't she didn't deserve it. After everything that she had done, after everything that she had done to him. She wished that she could go back to the start and change everything. She could even have gone to LA and met him before he met Sarah or he even contemplated getting on the plane.

The others started to leave until there was just one left. She looked at him, his sandy blonde hair blowing across his face, into his blue eyes but he didn't seem to care. She had built up her walls again, they had started coming down once she had met Jack and started getting to know him, but know they were back, firm and solid, and there was only one way of them ever coming back down.

'Don't worry about it Freckles. I always knew that it was you and the Doc. You and me, sure we had a connection, but what you have, what you have with the Doc. now that's love.'

She continued to look at him, she knew that he cared and that he could be kind and gentle but she didn't know that he could be like this. He had always been so possessive of her and now he was just letting her go without even putting up the slightest bit of a fight. She acknowledged what he had said, silently thanking him with a nod from her head and a small smile that spread across her face. He turned on his heel and left, she watched him disappearing into the distance knowing that things between the two of them would be fine and that there would be no resentment held by him.

She looked round the rest of the camp, taking in everything that was happening. Everybody seemed to be functioning as they always had, as if nothing had happened. How could they be doing this, just going on with life as if nothing had happened? It was then that she realised that it wasn't that life for everybody couldn't go on without Jack. It was just life for her, it was just life for Kate.

She headed over to where she could see Sayid packing his bag. They had spent last night and this morning finalising the plans that they had been working on for since they left with Michael and Sayid, Sun and Jin had returned without them. She could see the concentration on his face as he was making sure he had everything and was checking over the maps. She had packed her bag long ago, before she knew anything of the rescue mission. It was one of the first things she had done that night after they got back, after she and Sawyer had told everyone that Jack wasn't dead as they had all thought.

'I'm coming with you.'

'I think you'll find that you are not Kate.'

'Sayid I know how to get there, I know how to get around inside, I can use a gun. I'm coming with you.'

'Kate listen to me, I know that you're more then capable of getting us there and defending yourself once we are there but you can't come.'

'Why not, it's my fault that he's there, I need to come with you.'

'Kate it isn't your fault that he is there, you have done nothing wrong.'

He doesn't know anything about what happened whilst they were there she thought, but then again why should he, neither her or Sawyer had told anybody anything apart from that Jack was still alive so he shouldn't know.

'Sayid you can't expect me to sit on this beach waiting for you to return with him. Knowing that I could be out there helping you to bring him back, to bring him home, to bring him back to us, back to me.'

Sayid barely heard the last she had started breaking down in front of him and by the time she was saying it she was at little more then a broken whisper. She had fallen into his arms, but felt nothing, No comfort, no safety, no love, nothing. Not like when she fell into Jack's arms, then she felt alive that everything was starting to become perfect, until she did this. The rest of the group who were planning on going had reached them and she felt herself being passed into another set of arms, a woman's this time. She looked up and saw the beautiful Australian girl with her golden hair smiling down at her trying to let her know that everything would be ok.

'I have to go, I can't stay here knowing that he's out there hurt because of me.'

Her eyes filled with love as she spoke and they all knew that there was no way that she was going to stay behind, she had followed once before to make sure that Jack was safe and they all knew that she wasn't about to leave him.

They had all got their things and were ready to leave.

'Are you sure about this?'

'Yeah' she said staring straight into his eyes.

'Alright then, let's go.'

And with that they headed of into the jungle.

Chapter 3 

They had been walking for hours now, she was leading them all the way and had refused to stop for a break. They reached a clearing, the line that they told them not to cross. They took their positions and Charlie started yelling to let them know that they were there.

They saw them approaching, she tried to stay as still and quite as possible, but she found it almost impossible to restrain herself from lashing out at them for separating them.

They watched as Charlie was bound and gagged and lead away. She looked over to Sayid and they split into the two groups that they had planned earlier and started to follow them.

Night was falling and they had almost reached the others camp. They found that the others had built a bridge between the two islands meaning that they could cross from one to the other silently and easily.

The finished climbing the hill and saw that they had arrived. They saw the small town that they had built, with it's little, white houses and it's large open spaces. Then she saw it, the large, metal building with the cages behind it where they had kept her and Sawyer. They saw them taking Charlie towards it and they cautiously followed. She felt her heart beating faster and faster until she thought she was going to pass out.

They entered the building and followed down the long, winding corridors. Finally the arrived at the room where they had kept Jack. She held her breath expecting to see his warm, inviting, loving eyes but when the door was opened she saw nothing, it was empty. She stood there for a moment taking it in. No, it couldn't be, where was he, why had they moved him, what had they done to him, had they, had they… no they couldn't, they just couldn't.

'Don't worry, they won't have killed him, they wouldn't have brought him here, not used him for anything and just killed him.'

She knew these words should be a comfort, but they weren't, she didn't know where her Jack was and what they were doing to him. How could she be comforted unless it was by him.

She turned away and started down the corridor, ignoring the others telling her to stop, she didn't know where she was going, for once she was just following her heart.

She was outside now, where they had kept her and Sawyer, but instead the cages were smaller. It was so dark that she couldn't see anyone. She looked around hoping she would find him. Every cage that she checked was empty.

She turned around and lent against the bars of the cage, collapsing to the ground about to break down into tears. But something stopped her. She lifted her eyes and saw a strange almost pure glow coming from the top of the hill. She pushed herself up and started towards. She never took her eyes of it, it had her hypnotised.

She was getting closer, she could hear someone else breathing, and she started to get the feeling of warmth that always enveloped her whenever he was near. She couldn't get there fast enough, but her legs kept her going at a steady walking pace, whilst her heart was beating faster then it ever had.

She neared the cage, and could see his body in the cage. He was sitting on a makeshift bed, his head back against the bars and his eyes closed, but he wasn't asleep. For a moment she thought he was dead but she saw his chest move and let out a breath she didn't know that she had been holding.

He had no idea that there was anyone else there. Since he had told her to leave he had just given up. He didn't care what they did to him anymore. He had no reason to hold on anymore so he had just given up, and it showed. He was covered in cuts and bruises, his top was covered in bloodstains from when they had beaten him for what he did to Ben. He couldn't stand up, not that he wanted to, his cage was too small, and there wasn't enough room for him to lie down. There was no room on either side of him so all he could do was sit on the 'bed'. There was a permanent light on above him, as if he were some sort of plant in a science experiment. It made him laugh when he thought of the last place they kept him that was so dark he could barely see things.

He didn't hear when she started to climb the bars of the cage that he was in. When she reached the top and started to lower herself down through the top of the cage where the gaps between the bars were wider. He didn't even know she was there until she was straddling him. He lifted his head and opened his eyes, and there she was. Her jade eyes sparkling in the night sky. Her untamed curls blowing gently in the breeze. She was beautiful inside and out, and it took his breath away.

'Kate…' was all that he could manage to say. Kate, his Kate, was there right in front of him. He reached out with one hand placing it softly on her cheek. She leant into his touch closing her eyes. A single tear ran down her cheek. He rubbed it away with his thumb. She was so beautiful.

'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.' She said in between shaky breaths.

'Sshh.' He tried to comfort her. He brought her forward towards him and brought his arms around her whilst she started to start shaking. She continued to apologise as he held her close, but he said nothing. He just placed his chin on her head and held her tightly. His eyes' gleaming in the light with the tears that he was holding back. She was here, but he couldn't have her.

They sat there holding each other. It could have been seconds, minutes even hours maybe. She felt everything falling away, all the walls that she had rebuilt crumbling away to nothing whilst she was in his embrace. He felt his heart melting all over again, he had said that after her he would never let himself feel this way again, even though they had never been.

They heard footsteps, he held her closer instinctively thinking it was The Others having seen her and now coming to take her away. His heart started beating faster as he thought of what they would do to him, what they would do to her.

He saw their faces. The familiar faces of his fellow castaways and he let out a breath he didn't know that he had been holding. They approached the two and seeing Kate they knew that she was safe and now all they had to do was get out. They had rescued Charlie, they had planned it all before and knew exactly what they had to do. They knew that they had to leave right now.

'Kate.'

She looked up into his eyes. His brown eyes that told her that he loved her and everything was going to be alright. His eyes that let her see right into the depths of his soul and see what a beautiful person he was.

'We have to go, now.'

She nodded in agreement. Slowly lifting herself of him and pulling herself back up through the gaps between the bars in the roof of the cage. She lowered herself down the outside. Reaching the ground she wiped the tears from her face and took a deep breath. She started fumbling with the lock on the cage door. Realising she wasn't having much luck Sawyer stepped forward taking it out of her hands and easing it open. She looked up at him, thanking him. She pulled the door open with one swift movement and he stepped out. Their bodies pressed against each. They could feel each other's hearts beating in time with one another.

'We must go now.'

They turned to look at Sayid nodding in agreement. He slipped his hand into hers squeezing it gently. They set of and he rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb absentmindedly.

_Chapter 4_

They reached their camp within a day of walking. Neither of them let go of the others hand the whole way. They arrived at the caves and stopped outside of his. They turned to face each other. They had already separated from the others who had gone back to the rest of the survivors to explain that Jack was back but they were to give him space and at least 24 hours until anyone approached him with any kind of medical query unless it was life threatening and that Sayid and Sun would be able to treat any minor ailments that people may have.

They were just standing there, looking into each other's eyes. She leant in, reaching up to meet his lips with hers. They met gently and slowly they kissed. Her hands on either side of his face holding him close. His hands on her hips steadying her whilst her mind was spinning and her heart started beating out of control.

'Kate'

She tried to continue kissing him.

'No, Kate, wait.'

She pulled away looking confused. He kept his eyes down.

'I can't do this.'

Her face was full of confusion and sadness. She thought that he felt something for her, perhaps not as much as she felt for him but still something.

'I can't do this. You chose Sawyer, not me. I can't do this to him. As much as I want this, I can't do this.'

'Jack…'

'No Kate. I told you to leave that day because I saw the two of you together. I heard him telling that he loved you too. That was when I decided I was going to do the surgery, and during the surgery I was going to make sure that you and Sawyer escaped so that you could be free, so that you could be free and happy with the man that you loved. I can't do this knowing that your heart is with someone else.'

'Jack I don't love Sawyer.'

'Really, so he just decided to add a too on the end of that I love you. Or you just decided that one day you were bored so you would screw him. You told me Kate that you weren't going to do anything with anyone on this island unless you loved them. So excuse me for not believing you.'

He started pulling away from her, feeling that he was loosing his temper, but also unable to control the urge to just take her there and then and make her his.

'Jack, wait.'

'No Kate, you can't go and sleep with Sawyer and then just expect that you can run to me with open arms and that everything is going to be perfect.'

'That's all it was Jack, sex. That was it nothing more. Yeah Sawyer and I slept together, but I only did it because all I felt was empty and I was trying to fill the void that I could feel inside me. But you know Jack, it didn't work. I felt worse then I ever had, I felt that I had betrayed you, even though we weren't together. The whole time Sawyer and I were together the only thing I could think about was you and how much I love you. It didn't change how I was feeling then, and it doesn't change how I'm feeling now.'

'Kate, you can't go around sleeping with people and then come to me telling me that it meant nothing. It sure didn't look like it meant nothing. And besides the fact you told him that you love him.'

'I only told him that to stop them beating him.'

He looked up into her eyes, and saw all of the hurt, all of the hurt that he was causing. He closed his eyes and pursed his lips, he took in a deep breath.

'Kate I loved you, I still do, but I can't do this knowing that your heart isn't in this.'

He turned and started to walk away. She stood there in shock, unable to move anything, unable to feel anything.

'You can run Jack, you can try and hide, but I'll never stop loving you and you can't escape that.'

He stopped for a moment contemplating turning around. But he didn't and continued walking, leaving her alone as it began to rain.

Chapter 5 

Days had passed since their encounter and neither had said anything to each other, she had barely said anything to anyone else and he had only said things that were necessary. The tension between the two was obvious but he never treated her with anything but respect because as long as she was happy he was happy, but she wasn't happy.

She was stood by one of the shelters on the beach, the gentle breeze blowing her chocolate brown curls gracefully. Her breathing was laboured and broken. She lifted her eyes from the ground and they saw his figure across the beach. She couldn't take her gaze from him. The way his muscles tensed and relaxed as he moved, the way that the wind blew the bottom of his shirt revealing fragments of his extremely toned torso. His tattoos showing faintly through the thin material of his cotton shirt. She closed her eyes letting one tear fall down her cheek, she opened her eyes again, and he was gone. Just like that, she blinked, and he was gone.

She closed her eyes again and let the tears roll down her cheeks. She turned around and started to walk away. She collided with something and found strong arms coming around her petit frame stabilising her. She looked up and saw his warm, loving brown eyes looking back down at her. They stood there for a moment, just staring into one another's eyes.

'Thanks.'

'Don't mention it.'

The first words that they had spoken to each other for days. She closed her eyes and he pulled her in closer to him burying his face in her hair and breathing in her scent deeply.

'I'm sorry.'

She looked up at him, he had nothing to apologise for, so why was he.

'For what?'

'For everything.'

She continued to look at him trying to figure out what he was going on about.

'Why don't you hate me?'

She asked and he pulled her in once again, wrapping his arms around her waist and once again burying his face in her hair.

'Because I love you.'

She heard his answer and couldn't control the sudden surge of emotions that ran through her entire body. She lifted her head once more ready to once again lean in and kiss him, but she was beaten to it. Before she could think of what was happening his lips were placed gently on her lips. She stood there in shock, but then relaxed at realising what was happening. Her arms ran up his chest and wrapped themselves around his neck. Their kiss slowly started to progress. She groaned against his mouth encouraging him to open his mouth and let their tongues meet. He pulled her in closer to him finding that this wasn't enough. He had come over to apologise to her and had never thought that it would go as far as wanting to make love to her.

He pulled away from the kiss and opened his eyes searching for hers. Slowly she opened hers, looking straight back into his.

'I love you too.'

With that she unwound herself from his arms and took his hand. She led him to her tent and inside. He pulled her close to him again, their lips meeting once again. Passion surging through both of them. Her hands unwound themselves from around his neck and she ran her fingers across the small opening at the top of his shirt. Across the fragment of bare chest, allowing his short chest hairs to get caught in her hands. Slowly she started unbuttoning his shirt. Finally reaching the last one she ran her hands across his body feeling each of his muscles move beneath her hands. She ran her fingers up to his shoulders allowing her hands to cover his muscular shoulders as they let his shirt fall away.

He trailed kisses down across her jaw and down her neck. He reached her collarbone slowly kissing along it lingering there between kisses. He started back up her neck again stopping when he reached a sensitive spot just below her ear. Hearing her gasp at the contact and the pleasure he pulled away. Their eyes met again.

'Are you sure? I mean you deserve better then this you should have a romantic evening, you know all the stuff to let you know how much I love you and how special and beautiful you are. It should be perfect.'

'Jack, did you ever think that because it's with you it is perfect?' she leaned closer up to him again and whispered against his lips 'Make love to me.'

Her breath sent shivers running through his entire body. He closed the gap once again gently kissing her but with a passion and a love that she had never felt before.

His hands moved slowly down her sides reaching the exposed skin where her top had ridden up. She moved her leg between his so she was straddling his thigh. He brought his hand across her flat stomach and started working on the fastenings of her jeans. Once having undone them he moved his hand back to her side again and started pulling them down. She kicked of boots allowing her jeans to slide over her feet with no problems. He brought his hand back along the length of her leg increasing his grip as he reached her thigh allowing his thumb to lightly trace a line of the inside of thigh. Hooking his fingers over the top of pants he quickly removed them. Gasping she pulled away from the kiss and wrapped her legs around his waist pulling hi in closer. His hand continued up her back under her top whilst hers were roaming freely over his back occasionally digging in her nails when he kissed her in a particularly sensitive spot across her neck and where her top revealed her chest. His hand reached her bra strap and her hands which had run back along his toned stomach reached the top of his jeans. He undid her bra clasp with one easy motion whilst she undid his belt followed by his button and zip she pulled his jeans down along with his boxers whilst he brought his hands back to her waist pulling her top up, allowing his hands to stroke her sides before finally pulling her top over her head.

They looked each other up and down, she took in how large he was worrying that he would be too big for her.

'You're so beautiful.'

'Make love to me.'

Their eyes met one last time before he went inside her and they made love which was the best that either had ever had.

Chapter 6 

They had fallen asleep in each other's arms afterwards. He was lying there with her in his arms gently playing with her long curls whilst he felt her warm breath against his chest. She lifted her head slowly their eyes meeting again.

'Morning beautiful.'

'Morning.'

She said sleepily before pressing her lips to his.

It was early morning and the two decided to get dressed so that he could go back to his cave and get some new clothes.

It was a little later and he was returning to the beach with the bottles of water for the fellow survivors.

'Well good morning their sunshine.'

'Good morning Rose. How are you doing?'

'Well I'm fine but I don't think I'm half as good as you appear to be.'

It was then that he realised that this was the first morning that he had a large smile over his face.

'Well what can I say, nice island, good weather, the scenery's not too bad either.'

He looked over at Kate after saying the last part.

'Well I better be going, got to get this water to everyone before I even start thinking about the rest of the day.'

'Well I'll see you around. Remember Jack you need to relax a bit more, it seems to do wonders for you not worrying so much.'

They smiled at one another and he stood up and continued along the beach handing out the bottles of water and telling everyone to make sure they were drinking enough. He reached where Kate was at the coast 'sinking'.

'There she is.'

She turned her head knowing who she would see.

'Good morning Jack.'

He stepped closer, neither able to take their eyes' of the other.

They stood next to each other looking out into the ocean.

'Hey Jack, Kate'

They both looked over to Claire who was cradling her infant. She had come over to see how they were doing, surprised to see the two together after the last few days.

'Hey Claire.'

Claire stood there for a moment, looking form Jack to Kate and then back to Jack again.

'Well it's about time.'

'Excuse me?'

'I said it's about time that you two made up.'

Jack couldn't help but smile.

'It's nice to see you two are friends again. You know it's affected the whole island, like it was unnatural for you two to be apart.'

'Well actually Claire…'

'What.'

She looked over at him before continuing, but there was no need as he finished for her.

'I just have one correction to make to that statement of yours.'

And with that Jack leant down, lifted his chin with his finger and kissed her.

The beach stood there in shock. They didn't realise that everyone else was watching until they heard Charlie and Hurley starting a cheer that soon took over the rest of the beach.

'Well it's about damn time.'

Sawyer placed his hand on Jack's shoulder as if congratulating him. She turned in to him stumbling slightly as her feet were still buried beneath the sand. He caught her in his arms, those arms that seemed to make everything better. They looked into each other's eyes knowing that everything would be perfect from now on.

Chapter 7 

Days turned into weeks, and weeks slowly turned into months. Life on the island seemed to be going without any trouble, after they had rescued Jack from The Others they had been left alone in peace and nobody complained. Jack and Kate had never felt so in love. Of course life hadn't been perfect, it hadn't gone without the occasional ups and downs but they were always resolved most of the time with a passionate makeup between Jack and Kate. They had both told each other about their pasts and when Kate told Jack about Wayne and Tom and life on the run he didn't leave as she expected him to, instead he sat there and held her through the night whilst she cried and in the morning she took him to the coast where she threw the toy plane into the ocean. Aaron had grown into a young, healthy and very lively little boy and the child that Sun and Jin were expecting was due any day now.

One day Jack and Kate were sat next to each on the beach. He loosely wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her in close and whispering into her hair.

'Have I told you lately just how beautiful you are and how madly in love with you I am.'

'Maybe, but it couldn't hurt to say it again.'

The pair both laughed quietly before Jack replied.

'You, are the most amazing, most beautiful, most wonderful person that I have ever met, and I love you more then I have loved anyone or anything ever.'

'I love you too, Dr. Jack Shepherd.'

The two leaned in ready to kiss each other until Charlie came running along the beach claiming that there was a boat there that was ready to take them all back to civilisation. They both looked at each other, they had talked about what they would do if they were rescued. Kate had wanted to stay on the island, but Jack had refused joking that if he didn't get to show her of to the rest of the world then he didn't know how he could make the rest of the world believe that he did actually meet such an amazing woman and managed to get her to fall in love with him. Now that day was actually here neither knew what to do.

She stood up knowing that she had vowed that if this day ever came that she wasn't going to run anymore. She would turn herself into the authorities and let them deal her the punishment that she deserved.

She approached the boat. It was bustling with activity, Charlie was helping Claire and Aaron load everything on to the boat, whilst Jin was helping a very pregnant Sun onto the boat. Sawyer was there too, helping any available female with any bags that looked 'too heavy' for them to handle on their own. She felt a hand on her back. She curled into the body behind her knowing that it was Jack.

'It's going to be ok Kate. I'll come with you, and I'm gonna stick by you no matter what happens because I love you and I can't bear to think of my life without you.'

With that she took his hand and they started towards the police officers on the boat.

'Excuse me, I'm Kate Austen, and erm… well I'm here to turn myself in.'

'We know exactly who you are Miss. Austen but we believe that being stranded on this island is punishment enough and with all of the stories that we've heard about and you and the circumstances in which you actually committed the crime then I think you'll be looking at parole maybe with a bit of community service at the most.'

She didn't know how to react, she had just been told that she was free. In one day they had been rescued, she had been told that Jack loved her and would never leave her no matter what happened and now she was free as well. She knew that she didn't deserve any of this but she finally decided to accept that good things can actually happen and she turned around to Jack throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him in to a deep kiss.

'Right I need all of you to listen, you have one hour to get everything that you want to take back with you on this boat before we set of.'

They looked at each other knowing they had enough if they just had each other but it didn't hurt to have some clothes to change into. They went back to the tent that they now shared. Kate ran inside determined to find two pieces of clothing that she refused to leave the island without.

'Where are they, Jack I can't find them anywhere, we can't go, no we can't go, we can't go without them.'

'Kate what are you looking for? If you just tell me I can…'

'We can't go unless we have them.'

'Yes Kate I get that but what exactly are they?'

'These.'

She held them up, looking rather proud with her achievement of finding them. His grey Columbia sweatshirt that he had given her on one of their first nights there and his white suit shirt that he was wearing on the first day that they met.

'Oh those things.'

'Yeah, those things.'

Chapter 8 

They were on the boat sailing away from the boat. They both stood at the back of the boat watching as they sailed away from the island that they had know as home for just little over a year.

'You know I think I'll miss it.'

'What living in constant fear of being kidnapped by some crazy, delusional people or being mauled by the polar bears living on a tropical island or perhaps the extraordinarily friendly security system that inhabited the jungle.'

She smiled at his reply thinking about the things on the island that she definitely wouldn't miss.

'No I mean being able to take you into our tent anytime I want to do this.'

She closed the already small gap between them kissing him with all the emotion that she could manage. He gladly returned deepening the kiss and holding her close until they were interrupted by Claire coming over and telling them that all the rooms had been assigned and they were free to go exploring.

They looked at each other and then back out to sea finding that they couldn't see the island anymore and that this was really the start of their new life together.

They followed Claire across the deck and down the stairs to where the bedrooms were.

'Right so here we are. This one is me and Aaron, here's Charlie and that one's Hurley, and there's Sun and Jin and that one down there that's yours Kate.'

Turning around she pointed to a room down the other end of the corridor.

'And that one that, that one is yours Jack.'

'What, they separated us, they separated me and Jack?'

'Well yeah they had no reason to put you together the same as me and Charlie but at least we ended up next door to each other.'

'What do you mean they had no reason, after they told me they weren't arresting me I practically flung myself at Jack, I was surprised he didn't go flying.'

'Well I suppose you could go ask someone but I don't know erm they just did it so they knew who was where in case of emergency and stuff like that.'

'But still, we haven't slept in separate beds for almost a year now.'

'Kate, honey, I don't think that Claire needs to know this.'

'Seriously separate rooms, I mean seriously.'

'Kate how about you go have a little rest in your room and I'll go see if I can do anything about this. Ok?'

'I suppose, but if you don't do anything don't even think of coming and knocking on my door.'

'Ok, I won't.'

'You know you guys you could just go into each others rooms at night, that's what Charlie and I are doing.'

'It's the principal of the thing Claire.'

'Ok sorry Kate, I guess I better be off. See you around.'

'They separated us?'

'Yeah looks that way.'

'Fine you better do something about this. I'm gonna go lie down for a bit it's been a bit of an exhausting day so far and if you do manage to sort something out then I definitely want to be awake for tonight.'

'Ok then Kate, I'll go do something.'

She went to her room, opening the door she looked in, not too bad she thought.

'Jack wait a second.'

'Yeah?'

'Let's see yours.'

'Ok…'

They both went to Jack's room. Slowly he opened the door knowing that he had got a better room then Kate had.

'What?!?'

'Erm, what is this not what your room is like.'

'Like hell it is! I get the little room down at the end of the corridor and you're up here with your freagin master suite! That's it, you are going to go up there and tell them that they better change my name to this room or else for the foreseeable future at least you're not even going to touch me. Got it?'

'Yes Kate. Don't worry I'll sort it out.'

He kissed the top of her head and turned and left. She looked back into the room, she said that she was going to get some rest, and that was exactly what she was going to do but in Jack's room.

She entered the room looking everything over. Her hand running over the quilt on the bed. It was the nicest room that she had ever stayed in, and it was going to get even better when she was sharing it with Jack. She lay down on the bed, snuggling underneath the thick duvet on the top. She closed her eyes and immediately fell to sleep, letting memories of her and Jack cradle her.

Chapter 9 

Kate's dream

'_Erm, excuse me miss.'_

_Kate turned around to see Jack on his knees. _

'_Yes, how can I help you?'_

_She lifted her eyes and saw herself. She could see her brown hair blowing in the wind, her green eyes fixated on the man in front of her. How could this be happening, she was in two places at once._

_She continued to watch the scene in front of her. It all seemed so familiar. She couldn't do anything but stand there and watch, unable to take her focus of either of the figures before her. _

'_Any colour preference?'_

'_Standard black.'_

_Both figures let out a small laugh and her breath got caught in her throat. She remembered. She closed her eyes as she laughed along. _

_When she opened her eyes she had moved they had moved. Now they were at the coast. She was bathing herself in the sea and he was sitting on the beach. Again they were laughing and enjoying themselves. She could hear what they were saying, she could see what they were doing but they couldn't see or hear her. _

_The memories continued to blend together, all the moments that her and Jack had shared together morphing into one. His silent apology leading to their never ending stock of guava. His protectiveness of her when he tried to stop her from joining them, And of course the one memory she wished she could have changed. The one memory that she wished she hadn't run from. After she had kissed him she felt whole for the first time in her life. She had always imagined that would she would feel with Tom, but she never had, only with him, only with Jack. _

_All of the memories now blended together. All of them from the very beginning right to where they were now. Until they just stopped. She was alone and cold. Everyone had gone; everyone had left her, even Jack. She had killed them all; because of her they were all dead. She couldn't hold back the tears any longer, falling to the ground she just let go, let go of every emotion that had ever run through her body, any feeling that she had ever felt, just letting go of everything and everyone. They were all dead and it was all her fault, she could've stopped it, she could've saved them all, but she let them die, she killed them all, she killed Jack. _

'Kate, Kate wake up.'

She was woken by someone shaking her and calling her name so soft and sweet that she felt her heart melting right then and there. She opened her eyes, looking directly into his. She loved him so much, but her dream. What did it mean? All of those things had happened, all apart from the last one. Was she going to kill them all?

Kate sat up slowly trying to figure out what all of this meant.

'Hey, Kate, are you OK?'

'Erm, yeah I'm fine just a bad dream.' She looked back into his eyes and realised that no matter how much she loved him she couldn't ever let what happened in her dream happen to him. 'Actually Jack we need to talk.'

'OK, what's up?'

'This, we can't keep trying to fool ourselves and everybody else that this is how things are meant to be.'

'What?' he couldn't believe what he was hearing, he couldn't form any kind of question or answer the words just falling out of his mouth, his heart slowly and painfully breaking.

'What we had, it was never meant to last. We're going to get back home and you're going to go back to your mum and the life that you had before we crashed on the island.' She could feel the emotions inside her screaming to be released. She talked with as little emotion as she could manage. She was ordering him to do this more then telling him that this is what she needed for him to do in order for him to be happy. How could he ever be happy with her, she was just a low life, cold blooded murderer who only destroyed people's happiness and never created it. She would never fit into this perfect life that he would be going back to. He wouldn't miss her anyway; he would have women falling over themselves trying to get to him. She continued to hold his focus, to stare into those endless brown eyes wanting nothing more then to allow herself to melt right back into them, but she couldn't. She wouldn't. She felt her heart brake right then, and the pain it caused shoot through her entire body.

'Kate, I love you far too much to believe that what you're saying you actually believe. You know about my life before the island, you know there's no way in hell that I want to go back to that. What I want, all that I want is you Kate. You're everything I've always wanted and always needed. So why now, why when everything is going so perfect are you just going to give up on us. If this is because of the whole jail thing Kate we can sort it out. I'm going to get you the best lawyer there is, and you'll be out of there, you'll be free, we'll be free.'

'No Jack. This is it. This is the end of the road. Now I'm going to get up and go to my room and we are never going to say anything to each other again. OK.'

With that she climbed out of the bed. Stood there for a second, breathing as deeply as she could whilst still being in 'control', and walked out of the room.

'I love you Kate, I always have and I always will and nothing that happens will ever change that. I understand if you're scared, I am too. But Kate if you want to walk out of that door and leave everything that we have been through together, everything that we feel for each other, everything that we could ever have together, if you want to leave everything behind then go right ahead, but Kate at least go knowing that I love you, and that if there is anything I can ever do for you I would do it in a second.'

They stood there staring at each other. Her hand on the door handle behind her. She walked over to him, standing on her toes she softly placed her lips on his.

'Goodbye Jack.'

And with that she was gone.


End file.
